i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
