i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
