did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
