just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
