I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
