Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
