Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the day after is always just damage control
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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