on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
