he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
