Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize