It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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