so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
