I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize