Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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