woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
