I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
