puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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