Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
