I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize