What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
