Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
