Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
