Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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