I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
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Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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