I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
