You just made me feel so damn special
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
