He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
where are you?
Hypothermia
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
third nipple confirmed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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