i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
how does that bad decision feel?
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