people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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