Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
