I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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