The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
