i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
