we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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