When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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