Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
