Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
