I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
