brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i permit you to call me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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