she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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