bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
