I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
