sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
