I think im going to throw up on grandma
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
