That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
