if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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