So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
