but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
