I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
