guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
