Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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