u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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