I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
try to milk me bitch
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