Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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