your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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