Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
