is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
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Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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