Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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