seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
