just come out here and I will go home with you...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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