DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
