Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
