My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
honey bunches of taint.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
