You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
