Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
